Well...gee that was fun.

Now that my life has successfully killed me, I finally give up. Yep. I'm done. This is over. I'm done with college apps. Done with parents. Done with relationships...its over. Because I simply can't deal with it anymore.

I really don't care where I go to college. Yes, I know I'm smart. Yes, I realize that I need to have a purpose to my life. The thing is, I really don't know if I want to do any of those things. College...yea the only reason that I want to go is because I want to leave. Here. I hate this place. These people. There are a few that understand me, but most are just idiots.

I'm not trying to be understood. It's not like I'm mad at them for not understanding me. I mean, seriously, I don't even understand myself. It's the fact that they think they know me better than I know myself. That they think they understand me when they so obviously DON'T. I'm just done with all this. With this facade. Because, seriously? When did living life behind a mask become the "in" thing to do?

It's ridiculous. All that I'm looking for in a guy is for him to accept me as I am, faults and all. Seriously, I know I'm not perfect, and I know that he won't be either. I know all this.

I feel like no guy will ever want be because they take one look at my "oh-so-perfect" life and feel like they can't compare. I'M NOT PERFECT, and my life is far from it. Crap, would I be writing this if it was? I don't even have anyone to talk to, so I write on a stupid blogging site.

The thing is, I don't WANT to talk to anyone. Because no one gets it. They can't understand how my life can look so perfect and be so horrible.

Horrible is a strong word, I suppose. I mean, I suppose I have a good family with good parents who take good care of me and I receive a good education and I have good friends...and so on. Have you ever noticed how vague the word "good" is?

Well. I have. And I'm tired of being "good."