Events Past

I was looking at this today, and it really amazes me just how naive I can be without knowing it. Seriously. I think I have everything down, then it all falls out from under me, and I realize that I don't.

I tend to rush into things, to make myself feel better. By rushing, you can get past all the doubts and uncertainties collected in your mind. For a while at least. They always come back to you. They're always there.

To really love someone, there has to be no doubt. You can't go into a relationship thinking that it will end. Your view can't be wanting to keep it going. It has to be knowing that it will still be there.

The person who you can truly love is the one that no matter what mistakes you make, they will stand there. Even if it means they are suffering for your mistakes. I haven't been willing to suffer for anyone. Call it naivety. Or whatever you'd like. All that I know is from now on, things are going slow. No more rushing. No more diving headfirst into something that looks like water, but could very well be spit. I'm going to test the water first.

Pardon the crude metaphor, but it's for my sake. I need to get this through my head. If I don't, I risk failing and losing the one who is truly meant for me. I can't let that happen. I refuse to.